News from Gaylandia

A coming out party on my birthday weekend... This week, Clay Aiken (the famous eskaparate queen) admitted that he is... hold hands please.. gasssp.. gay. Ok, ok, this has been used several times and I know many writers came up with more drama and brouhaha in announcing this. So, can we have a big COMING OUT party and invite everyone who we think is still in the closet or in the eskaparate (for those who don't know, eskaparate is a sort of cabinet made of glass, so if you're hiding inside an eskaparate everyone can see that you're already inside, so why hide? duuhh). ---- Gays as Genetic Machines I have this thing about statements that go like this: Anto: Dre or Lolah (depending on who I am that day): I think chuva choo choo is gay. Dre or Lolah: Nahh, he/she has a son/daughter Anto: Ngak... - People, having a child and wife in tow doesn't mean that they're not citizens of Gaylandia. Its citizens are not confined to barrenhood. We are still part of the human race and sometimes there are members who would like to gay if forward (borrowing pogs words) in terms of procreation. So, the moment your gaydar is turned on and there's a man passing by with his trophy wife or gf, just say, "Ay, bulalo..." Bulalo is an old term for paminta... (Pa-men). -- Young Lebby Love in Hollywood I love Lindsay Lohan and Samantha, the youngest gay couple in Hollywood (ok, her publicist may say otherwise) but this is in league with Judy Foster's "please use your head and I am making this as obvious as I can" public display of affection. In the Lebistate of Gaylandia... No words are needed. (Lesbians have a knack for dropping hints and there but not stating it verbally). If you see two women holding hands in public and wearing matching rings, that's proof of their citizenship. Think people, think! -- Xena in L-world L-word, the popular lesian series is in its sixth season. For those who haven't watched this series and have a fetish for girl on girl action (all men I think) and good storylines, please grab a copy from your local DVD pirata. I am excited that Lucy Lawless (aka Xena) will join the ever growing number of celesbians who have guested on the show. There was talk that Paris Hilton will join the show (she was even rumored to have gone out with the Kate Moening the actress who play Shane in the series). I think being gay is the next, "She is pregnant" fad in Hollywood. hayness... bow! --- Hayyy.. being gay is so much fun. I just wish we don't go mainstream :) AMEN!

To tell or not to tell....

I have seen cards which I am hesitant to tell the seeker on its meaning. I am scared that I am not equipped enough or brave enough to say bad things which I am unsure.

I am at a lost, should I tell, or should I not?

My card...

Why do I want to post this? I am not sure, but I guess, as a person, I want to be perceive as someone who is "you see what you get". I have secrets of my own which I share if asked. But I don't want to parade them, I am a very private person and of course, I really am a loner. I value aloneness. My nerves cannot stand a lot of people. Thus I hate crowds.

Anyway, I found out that in my readings and also in a reading by a different person, my tarot symbol is the Queen of Pentacles. Of course, I see myself in that card. I like people (one at a time). I want to love, to nurture and to listen to their stories. I want to find out about their journey so far and I would like to extend a helping hand if I could. But I learned that I should only help if the other party is ready.

So far, I love the Tarot. It gives me awareness and it keeps me grounded. I may be thought of as crazy but I am happy. I realized that this is a long, long, long journey so just try to learn what you can and just be angry, aggressive, possesive and just live out the various emotions without guilt (but hey, guilt is good also).

"To thine own self be true..." AMEN!

The Powerful Elements

The Power of Four and some personal insights




As I was studying the Tarot, the thought that came into my mind, was the central theme of Astrology and the Tarots. For both, the major categorization of things including humans and destiny are the four basic elements - Fire, Earth, Air and Water.

Interestingly, nobody knew the exact origin of the Tarot. But it is easier to learn if one has a basic understanding of the Cardinal Elements of the Zodiac. There might be some truth to the Alchemist.

I am not a religious person, but I realized that I have also forgotten to nourish the spirit. The Tarot has helped me in this. I am not sure, but I have became more aware of energies and connectivity to the universe (or this might be inside my head altogether).

Tarot makes you think of what is important in life, I've learned a lot. It's just like reading the Scriptures when I was younger. It just feels right I guess.

So, on to the journey of life, energies and the oneness of the universe!

One of my favourite insights: "What if you reach your desination? What then? You would become lost because all your life you have been working towards a goal, and what if the goal has been achieved?

So live life with detachment and just live in the moment... there is no past and future... only the "now" ... AMEN!

My card for the day is the High Priestess (Major Arcana - Number 2)..

What does this mean? First thought that came into my mind is organized religion, then subsequent thoughts... secrets and inner awareness.

Religion - Gawd, I am so passionate about the bigotry of some individuals against the Da Vinci Code. I am not perfect but sometimes, just sometimes, religion gives God (the Force in Universe) a bad name.

Secrets - I am not sure... but I am not that secretive. My life is an open book.

Inner Awareness - Listen to your inner voice. Once true silence begins then true awareness is realized.

I am ready for change. There was a time when I wanted to hold on because I care about people. My passion at work is not my work per se, but the people I work with. My past project was a blessing. I am thankful for the learnings and the people I've worked with.

I realized now, that there seem to be no growth here in this space anymore. I can't, I have to move on. I don't know how, but now more than ever, nothing is holding me back. I need to change paths.

"Existence takes care!"

On the Seven of Pentacles we see a man who has labored long and hard in his garden. The foliage is full, the blossoms are out - it seems that his work has paid off. Now he's taking a break to admire his handiwork. How satisfying it is to see such fine results! How rewarding is sweet success!

The Seven of Pentacles is a time-out card. It represents those moments after a rush of activity when we stop to catch our breath and look around. The man in the picture has paused to contemplate the fruits of his own labors, but he could also pick that fruit. In readings, the Seven of Pentacles can indicate a reward that will come your way, particularly as a result of your own efforts. Take it and enjoy.

This card is also a call for assessment. When we're busy, we don't always have time to reflect on what we're doing and why. Are we still on course? Are we getting the results we want? Serious problems can develop if you don't take stock at key moments. In readings, this card suggests that you take the time to be sure you're meeting your goals.

The Seven of Pentacles can also indicate a crossroads. In life, there's a tendency to continue with familiar routines. To go in a new direction isn't easy. The Seven of Pentacles may be telling you to figure out if you need a course correction, or even a complete about-face. You're not yet committed to a certain path, but you could be soon. Change is still possible.

The Seven of Pentacles is not a card of endings or final decisions. The game is not over, but only on hold for a moment. Once you've gotten your breath back and checked your strategy, be ready to jump back in and work even harder than before.

Where no sane woman has gone before...

"If you cannot change the path, change the traveler."
"Necessity is the mother of invention."

Warning: This post is for those who have an open mind with regards to the bubblings of the blogger. We don't know if this is a product of a person slowly losing her mind. If you can take it, read on.

These past few days I was asking why people seems to be going away and I seem to be at a point of stagnation. It's either they are assigned onshore or work overseas for better opportunities or the most painful separation, a falling out because of pride and misunderstanings.

Of course, lingering questions need some answers. We schedule a session with Bong the Empath (from previous posts) and dahon, the egyptian priestess agreed to accompany me again to Runes (runes is a divination tool but ironically, they don’t have runes reader right now).

Anyway, I felt so low during the day and I even texted dahon that I wasn't up for a reading. I might negate the energies of Bong and I might unwittingly be an energy vampire. So, off I went to Glorietta (theme song in the background: "Dito ba.. ohhh dito ba.. ditow baaahhh.. o ditowww bahhh" – visuals: Anto riding the FX in major EMO mode. Funny eh? Hihihi

Then, dahon called and enticed me to go. Ok, I agreed, Bong might give some answers that I need. When we were together and on our way to Timog, the egyption priestess texted us that Bong can't make it. (a signus?). So off, we went to dinner.

We just casually talked about the rising prices of readings and jokingly said that we should buy tarot cards and do the divination ourselves. Ding (in moves – a light bulb will turn off on the right hemisphere of the brain). Naah... that too much for me, and I didn't think of it at that time.

The next week, I chatted with my seatmate, office friend about tarots and about studying tarots for economy. We just laughed and shrugged it off. So, I googled it and read some stuff about Tarot.

Then we went to lunch (dahon, Elizabeth and I). Dahon gave me a Osho Zen Tarot book (another signus?).

Dahon and I went to powerbooks and thanks the heavens I was with dahon because I really can’t ask the saleslady to open up all the tarot boxes so I could see what they look like (I remember a scene from harry potter wherein the wand choses the wizard).

The fist time I saw the Railey Wailer card deck, I was just surprised because that's the term I remember when I googled the word tarot. I was hesitant because, oh my gosh, what am I getting into? Presumptousness to the highest level! Blasphemy! Moi, a tarot reader? But I told myself, this is just for fun. It will keep me occupied and help me keep my sanity.

So that the story why I start on this new hobby of mine.

Crazy? I know! I seem to have heard them all -

"Di ba para sa mga gifted lang yan" – (reply—feeling ko gifted ako.. hehehe)
"Mahal naman! Waste of money!" – (reply – Yun lang... “)
"Labas mo na kodiko mo... " – (reply – embarassed smile)

Yup, I was even laughed at but I just shrug it off. I like what I do because I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Sometimes I ask them to ask questions that are juicy (tsismosa talaga), hahaha.

Of course, I am now doing readings. Presumptousness again, it might be imagination, but of course, you can feel if the person seated across the table is testing you, doubting you, sleepy, or really gited.

My easiest read was with an officemate buddy. I feel that she's gifted herself so sometimes she offers explanations and the cards are in order, the story coherent and she also interprets some. I am enticing her to buy a deck herself. Alas, cards can't be borrowed, if only I could, I would lend her mine so she could study.

My theory is, the figure in the tarot wakes up something in the unconscious, maybe because I like telling stories that's why I like tarot reading. I feel that Bong the Empath is a living Tarot creator – Image maker. The seeker will interpret the image that Bong (the reader) sees. As a baby tarot reader, I need the image to interpret and I also believe that the seeker can understand.